Donna checked into No. 4 this couple who were here on a cattle-buying trip. They were from Roundup, Montana, and the wife was a lovely and slender blonde of about twenty-five, while the husband was a little older, ruggedly handsome, and about 6 feet and 185 lbs. They checked in at approximately 5:30 p.m. and it was getting dark as I ascended to my observation laboratory to watch.
They had picked up hamburgers at McDonald’s and began eating as soon as they entered. I immediately noticed that she was very beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was wearing boots, jeans, and a tight Western shirt, and it was well established that she was in the D-cup category.
But as I watch this young couple eat, it is obvious they had no manners. They just eat as fast as possible, dropping bits and pieces in their laps, and then brush it off onto the floor. Young people don’t use napkins, at least the majority—just wipe their hands on their blue jeans or the bed sheets.
Oh, well, maybe I’ll get to see some sex anyway.
They were both very non-communicative and he laid on the bed fully dressed and watched TV for the majority of the evening. She wrote a letter and departed to the bathroom and closed the door and remained for the better part of an hour.
When she came out, he crudely replied: “You stayed in there so long I’ll bet you have a ring around your butt.” This is the first thing he said all evening, typical cowboy talk. She was definitely embarrassed by this statement from this vulgar primitive idiot.
He continued watching a re-run of Gunsmoke and she went to the bathroom again. When she returned, she was wearing a nightgown with a robe over the top.
God, I’m never going to get to observe those magnificent breasts! These are the times it is difficult being a Voyeur, when your desire to observe is not being fulfilled. She sits on the chair and he smokes and watches TV, and not any word of communication results between them. What I am observing here is exactly what occurs in the relationship of about 90 percent of all couples.
Much later, he undressed and they go to bed. He is now feeling like sex, but she isn’t, especially since he had insulted her earlier. When he removed his boots, I detected a smell that approached the vent that wasn’t pleasant. He should have taken a shower if he wanted to approach her, but he didn’t. After fondling her through the nightgown and robe, he was making headway toward getting her aroused.
By this time, I think maybe I’ll get to observe those breasts yet, but no, he immediately gets out of bed and turns off the lights and the television!
Now I’m thoroughly mad and disgusted with the S.O.B. I feel like killing him. He now returns to the bed and begins his lovemaking in an atmosphere he is comfortable with: namely, darkness.
I won’t stand for this at all. I return to the ground level and get in my car, and then drive it and park it directly in front of the #4 unit, parking it and leaving it there with the bright lights beaming on their window.
Returning to the observation platform, he is standing up peeking through the curtains, complaining that “some son-of-a-bitch has left his lights on.”
In order to accomplish the remainder of his lovemaking procedure, he placates his position by getting under the covers to eliminate the light. He finally gets her undressed because I see her hands appear on the side of the bed dropping her robe and nightgown out. The room is lit up real well, and he begins his animal-like thrusting under the covers. He is finished in three minutes, and immediately withdraws and departs for the bathroom.
I finally get to see her body when she uncovers to wipe the semen away on my bedspread. She is very beautifully proportioned, but probably equally stupid and dumb.
He comes back from the bathroom and notes that the lights outside are still on. He says, “I wonder what the situation is with this car with the lights on.”
Stupid bastard, he’ll never know what my situation is, but I am well informed as to his unfortunate position in life.
Conclusion: I am still unable to determine what function I serve … Apparently, I’m delegated the responsibility of this heavy burden to be placed upon myself—never being able to tell anyone! If vanity or fate appoints this position for me in life, then I will be appreciably diminished by this unfair compromise. The depression builds, but I will continue onward with my research. I’ve pondered on occasion that perhaps I don’t exist, only represent a product of the subjects’ dreams. No one would believe my accomplishments as a Voyeur anyway, and therefore the dreamlike manifestation would explain my reality.
There is definitely a correlation between subjects who want the lights off during sexual activity and their profile. Normally, subjects from rural areas; non-educated types; minority groups; older generation subjects; southern-influenced subjects—are inclined to indulge in sex in darkness. After observing so many of these subjects, I can tell almost immediately the subjects who will turn the lights out. It is difficult to explain, but I accurately recorded an entire year of subjects who turned off the lights and those who left it on during sexual activity. Ninety percent of those who turned off the light fell within the category described above.
Gay Talese, The Voyeur’s Motel, 2016.